6 Signs You Should You Call Off Your Engagement

While we all talk about how crazy (and stressful!) being engaged can be, especially with the pressure of planning a wedding, for some people engagement is troubling for another reason—because they really don't want to be engaged at all. Calling off your wedding is still so taboo, a topic seemingly only talked about in hushed tones and something that only happens between other people in other relationships. But, for a number of individuals, breaking off an engagement is a real thing—a hard thing—that must be done. With this in mind, we want anyone who is contemplating this scenario to know that you’re not alone. Here's some guidance to help you if you're struggling with this serious situation.

 1. You see major problems in your relationship and no solutions in sight.

 A “major problem” could be anything from you’ve realized that your fiancé(e) drinks too much to not treating you with respect. (Or both.) This problem, or set of issues, is something you’ve tried to discuss with your S.O. but you don’t see any signs of them trying to reconcile the situation. 

 If you have children from a previous relationship—or you've had children with each other—you may be concerned about how calling off your wedding (which the kids are so excited about!) will affect your little ones. Kids are more resilient than you think, however, and they tend to be better off in households that are filled with love, not dread or regret. 

3. You're worried about disappointing other people, namely your wedding guests. 

How embarrassing that you've sent out your invitations already and now you want to call the whole thing off. Um, as if! How do you think your nearest and dearest would feel if they knew how conflicted you were? They'd want to wrap you up in their arms and tell you not to worry a lick about them. It's you who's putting that pressure on yourself. It's not as hard as you think to call off a wedding, especially with text messaging, email, and your closest people to help you. 

 If you're unable to explain why you want to marry your fiancé(e), this is a major signal that you shouldn't go through with it. 

5. You're already thinking about divorce. Maybe you think you'll try out marriage for a year and see if anything changes in your relationship. Sadly, the act of getting married isn't like sprinkling fairy dust—yes, you might experience a post-wedding honeymoon period, but the issues you have now will not magically go away just because you've said some vows and signed some paperwork. 

6. You're going through with it because you feel like it's your only chance. 

As seemingly everyone else around you starts getting hitched, you might feel a sense of wanting to just get it over with—after all, you're not getting any younger. But this is flawed thinking: You don't want to get married for the sake of checking off an item on your life's to-do list. You'll have many, many more chances to find love, with the right person, if you allow yourself.